


Ineffable Husbands Challenge

by purple_whizzvin



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M, but i love them like crazy so it's okay, this is going to take me y e a r s folks!!, uhhhh i guess this is just mostly fluff but a little angst bc it's what the people want
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-05-18 20:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19342144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purple_whizzvin/pseuds/purple_whizzvin
Summary: so I made a "anyone who reblogs this will get a short ineffable husbands oneshot submitted to them" post on tumblr and this is just all the results of that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> for @everything-ineffable on tumblr!

“I really think you’d like it.”

Aziraphale and Crowley were sitting together in a restaurant that Aziraphale had suggested, engaging in a conversation very similar to others they have had many times before. Aziraphale was talking about another restaurant he had heard of, taking delicate bites of his food.

“You say that a lot, you know,” Crowley said. “It seems like you’re just suggesting to me everything that you like.” Crowley was smiling but Aziraphale frowned.

“Do you not like..the places we go?” Aziraphale asked, eyebrows furrowing with concern. Crowley straightened.

“No, no,” he said quickly, waving his hands, “I love the places we go! I was just messing with you. Forget it.” He gestured for him to go on and Aziraphale happily continued chatting about the restaurant.

Eventually, his words started to become slurred in Crowley’s mind, his voice becoming background noise as Crowley focused on Aziraphale’s moving lips. And he got that annoying, pesky little urge he’s been having more and more recently - the urge to kiss him.

Aziraphale was leaning forward, closer and closer to Crowley, eyes bright and lips stretched into a smile as he spoke.

Crowley figured he could finally give in to temptation.

Before he could even stop himself, his lips were on Aziraphale’s and his hand was cradling the back of Aziraphale’s neck. The kiss was soft, gentle, but ended way too quickly. When he pulled away, Aziraphale was sitting frozen with wide eyes, the way he had been throughout the entire kiss.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” Crowley asked smoothly.

Aziraphale blinked, lips parted slightly in shock.

“Wh-” He paused, looking away, cheeks heating up. His eyes darted back. “What are you- what do you- are we not going to..talk about that?” he stammered, grabbing nervously at the end of his coat.

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Well, I..I quite liked it,” Aziraphale said slowly, red spreading to the tips of his ears, “and it’s a pity I didn’t, um. Didn’t kiss back.”

Crowley felt himself grin. That was definitely unexpected.

“Oh? I guess you’ll just have to make up for it, won’t you?”

Crowley leaned in for another kiss and Aziraphale kissed back right away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for @elrilsf on tumblr!

Aziraphale trailed after Crowley down the hall, eyebrows furrowed in worry. “They’re murdering each other?” he asked incredulously, stopping as Crowley turned to face him.

“No, they aren’t,” he said with a big sigh, “no one’s killing anyone. They’re all having miraculous escapes. Wouldn’t be any fun otherwise.”

Aziraphale felt the tension disappear from his body, a smile stretching across his lips. “You know, Crowley,” he said, walking closer to the other, “I’ve always said that deep down, you really are quite a nice-”

In the blink of an eye, Crowley’s expression of interest turned to anger as he grabbed Aziraphale’s collar, slamming him hard against the wall. Crowley’s face was inches from Aziraphale’s - maybe not even that. Aziraphale’s breath caught in his throat. “Shut it,” he hissed. Aziraphale’s fingers grasped fruitlessly at the wall behind him. “I’m a demon. I’m not nice.” Aziraphale could feel the sharp poke of Crowley’s hips against his own as heat spread up his neck. “Nice is a four letter word. I will not-”

“Excuse me, gentlemen.” A woman’s voice interrupted him and Crowley turned his head to look at her. Aziraphale’s eyes wandered down to Crowley’s lips before quickly jumping to the woman. “Sorry to break up an intimate moment, can I help you?”

Clearly, they recognized each other. “You,” Crowley said simply, his voice a low growl. The woman’s eyes went wide as she backed up.

“Saints and demons preserve us, it’s Master Crowley.” She took in a breath of air, opening her mouth, but Crowley pushed off the wall and snapped his fingers and her mouth fell closed. Aziraphale took in a shaky breath. “You didn’t have to do that,” he said, fixing his clothes. Of course, what he should be referring to was the woman - _you didn’t have to do that to the woman_ \- but another part of him said  _you didn’t have to do that to me_.  _You didn’t have to pull away. You didn’t have to stop._

Aziraphale quickly pushed the thought out of his head. Crowley had been mad at him. It wasn’t..anything Aziraphale had been thinking of.

Crowley moved on from it, so Aziraphale made himself do the same.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for @deannahartsworld on tumblr!

Crowley woke up very early in the morning. Aziraphale was still asleep next to him, one arm thrown over Crowley’s waist. Crowley sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes, looking down at the other and smiling.

In Crowley’s mind, Aziraphale was perfect. Aziraphale tip-toed around everything, never wanting to hurt anyone. He lied only when it seemed necessary and treated Crowley like he was the best person ever - a far cry from the treatment Crowley had received in Hell.

Crowley gently ran a hand through Aziraphale’s hair and Aziraphale stirred, a subconscious smile finding its way onto his lips.

Crowley remembered how mad he had felt when he had gone to Heaven in Aziraphale’s body. Gabriel, not knowing it was really Crowley, had treated Aziraphale like anything other than the embodiment of perfection that he was, which was unacceptable to begin with, but it, of course, had been worse than that. He had blatantly disrespected him, something that Crowley hadn’t expected from  _angels_ , while forcing him into a fire that he expected to kill him.

It had taken everything in Crowley’s power not to- well, he hadn’t really known what he wanted to do. Yell at him? Attack him? Anything to make him shut up. No one was allowed to disrespect  _his_  angel.

But he had managed to restrain himself and they had managed to get their respective “sides” off both of their cases. They were being left alone now. Crowley should stop thinking about Gabriel and his pathetic excuses for  _angels_.

Crowley leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to Aziraphale’s forehead. Aziraphale’s eyes fluttered open.

“What are you doing up so early, love?” he asked softly, giving Crowley a sleepy smile that made him melt.

“It’s your fault, really,” Crowley said playfully. “You’ve kept me up. Thoughts of you, running through my mind.”

“Oh, really?” Aziraphale reached up, moving his arms over Crowley’s shoulders. “I’m terribly sorry.”

Crowley’s eyebrows raised in surprise as he grinned down at him. “Did my angel just use  _sarcasm_?”

“Maybe.” Aziraphale paused, his cheeks turning a light pink. “ _Your_  angel?”

“What?” Crowley’s voice was light, masking his worry. “Are you not my angel?”

“No, no.” Aziraphale giggled and it was a sound Crowley would never get sick of hearing. “You’re right. I’m all yours.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for @beingsadandtired on tumblr!!
> 
> it's a high school au :3

As Aziraphale pushed open the door to detention, he expected students sitting in silence, working. A teacher would be leading them, just like a regular class. 

His expectation was far from what he found - kids running around, drawing on the walls, chattering. There was no teacher; instead, a boy was in front of the class, sitting on the teacher’s desk. He had red hair and wore dark glasses that masked his eyes. He looked up when Aziraphale entered the room, and even though he couldn’t see the boy’s eyes, he knew he was looking him up and down.

“Well, hello there, sweetheart,” the boy purred and the whole class quieted. He grinned and Aziraphale could have sworn he saw fangs - canines only slighter sharper than average. 

“Hi,” Aziraphale said meekly, looking away. 

“You don’t look like the type to be here. What’d you do?”

“You’re making it sound like a prison,” Aziraphale said, avoiding the question. 

“It’s the prison of school,” the boy responded with a shrug.

“School  _ is  _ prison,” a kid jeered. 

The boy on the desk leaned forward, smirking at Aziraphale in a way that made him squirm. He beckoned him closer silently and Aziraphale obeyed. He could feel everyone in the room watching him.

“You look terrified,” the boy said with a laugh, right next to Aziraphale’s ear.

“I was framed!” Aziraphale blurted, the boy’s amused expression making his cheeks turn red. “Some..some  _ delinquent _ wrote a rude word on the board and blamed me!” He crossed his arms, hugging himself tightly. “I don’t belong here.” He looked over his shoulder cautiously at the other students. As pathetic as it sounded, they scared him. 

“Don’t worry,” the boy cooed, and Aziraphale jumped at how close the sound was to him. He could feel his breath hot on the skin of Aziraphale’s neck. Aziraphale swallowed thickly. “I’ll protect you from all the scary kids.” He was definitely teasing him. The boy hooked his finger in Aziraphale’s collar, pulling him between his legs and making Aziraphale squeak. He rested his chin on Aziraphale’s shoulder, glaring at the other students. He waved a hand at them. “Shoo.”

They grumbled and went back to talking and sticking gum under the desks. The boy pulled back but locked his ankles together behind Aziraphale, caging him in. He stuck out his hand. “Crowley.”

“A-aziraphale,” he managed, shaking Crowley’s hand. “Um. Thank you?”

“Of course,” Crowley said with a sharp grin. “Anytime. If you ever find yourself back here-”

“No,” Aziraphale interrupted sternly, “no. I won’t.”

Crowley snorted, eyebrows raising. “Well, maybe I’ll just have to get your number, then.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for @aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-kill-me on tumblr!

Crowley’s fingers drummed against the steering wheel. He was driving ninety miles per hour, but remembered Aziraphale’s scolding and slowed to seventy.  _Crazy Little Thing Called Love_  played softly from the Bentley’s speakers. 

“I thought I lost you, you know,” Crowley said softly, sounding almost afraid. Hesitant. Aziraphale frowned, turning to look at him. He knew what he was talking about. He knew it had affected Crowley greatly, too. He remembered what Crowley had said:  _And when I’m off in the stars, I won’t even think about you!_  And then Aziraphale’s bookshop burned down and Aziraphale disappeared and Crowley’s plans disappeared too and he went and got wasted.

“Yes, but..you didn’t,” Aziraphale said, flashing him a half smile. “So it’s alright.”

Crowley huffed. “But it..it’s not alright, angel, that’s the thing. Sure, I didn’t lose you then. But we…” He gazed out the window, avoiding eye contact with Aziraphale. “Do you really think Heaven and Hell are just going to leave us alone?” As he ranted, Aziraphale reached over and took his hand, pulling it into his lap. Crowley felt Aziraphale’s soft fingers run gently over his palm. His breath caught in his throat and he forced his words out. “Sure, we scared them, and they’ll leave us alone for a bit. But that’s not going to last,” he said, shaking his head. He frowned with concern, glancing over at Aziraphale.

“You shouldn’t worry about that until you need to,” Aziraphale said slowly.

“I..”  _I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you._  “I’m just trying to be prepared.”

“There’s no use in stressing yourself out about it, my dear,” Aziraphale said. His fingertips ran up the length of Crowley’s fingers. Crowley felt his stomach twist. “We can worry about it when the time comes.”

Aziraphale was met with silence in response. The Bentley pulled into an open spot next to Aziraphale’s bookshop. The two sat without speaking for a while until Aziraphale took Crowley’s hand with both of his own and leaned over, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Crowley felt heat spread across his face. “Thanks for driving me.” He released Crowley’s hand and hopped out of the car, smiling and waving to Crowley before he disappeared inside the shop. Crowley, red-faced, world spinning, dropped his head onto his steering wheel.

_Oh my god._


End file.
